


The Movie Incident!

by Aranwion



Category: The Matrix (1999 2003 2003)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-30
Updated: 2010-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-10 08:17:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aranwion/pseuds/Aranwion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A trip to the theatre with the gang leads to twinnapping, speedos and insanity!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Movie Incident!

**Author's Note:**

> Randomness based on that little kiss One throws Trinity in the elevator :)  
> Beta'd by yours truly.

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**Theatre Antics**

 

            Trinity and Neo pulled up to the movie theater. It was an upscale Capitol 4. Trinity frowned a bit.

        "You dragged me away from Days of Our Lives to see a late night movie?" Neo grinned at her.

        "Great, huh? Best part is, the others are here too." Trinity considered. Well, if she could chat with Niobe rather than actually watch whatever Neo had dragged her out to, she might actually forgive him. Neo got out of the old, black car, and as they walked up to the ticket counter Trinity asked

        "So, what exactly are we seeing?" Neo smiled at her as he got his change, and then pulled her into a tight embrace.

        "An original copy of The Wizard of Oz." Trinity squealed and kissed him.

        "Ooh, that's the movie we saw on our first date! Neo, that's so sweet!" She was still gushing as they went into the theater. But she frowned as she saw the last two seats available. They were on either end of a row. A row containing, from left to right; Two, One, Niobe, Morpheus, Link and his sweetheart, Zee. Neo frowned too.

        "Well, we'll just have to ask someone if they'll move." Trinity didn't think it likely though. The Twins were on one end, Link and Zee on the other. Trinity and Neo went over to the Twins and tapped the closest, Two (not like you could tell them apart, though), on the shoulder. Two looked up from what they were doing, which turned out to be sharpening their switchblades, and gave Trinity a very annoyed stare. Trinity fidgeted, and cleared her throat.

        "Um, Neo and I were wondering if one of you would be willing to move to the seat on the other end of the row so Neo and I could sit together." One and Two just stared at them. Telepathically, they debated the merits of moving. _Really, though,_ said Two, _It'd be more fun to make them pass messages._

        _Brilliant!_ Agreed One. Out loud, he said

        "You know, we're really quite comfortable right here. Sorry." And they both gave them a trademark smirk and went back to playing around with their many knives.

        "Well, then I'll just go sit down there." Said Neo, pointing to the other end of the row. Trinity nodded and sat next to Two, whom she realized was stifling laughter. But just then the movie started.

        _You know,_ said Two to his Twin when he had calmed himself, _this could get interesting. Us all alone, next to a human, able to completely screw with her head._

_        Of course!_ Agreed One, _What else would we do? We don't want to be here. The least we could do is make it interesting._ Then they snickered mentally. They sat calmly and appeared to be watching the movie, but after only a few minutes, Niobe leaned over to One and whispered

        "Neo wants to know if Trinity wants some popcorn." She said it as quickly as possible, so she could get back to the movie, so it took One a moment to understand just what she had said. Then he and Two shared an evil look. Two leaned over to Trinity and whispered sensually

        "Neo wants to know if when you get a room tonight if you want some strawberries and whipped cream and-" he dropped his voice and suggested something very graphic to Trinity, with a completely straight face. She gasped and Two could see her face flush.

        "He said what!?" she asked a little loudly, and One almost burst with laughter as Two calmly took in everyone in the row looking at her and said in a totally innocent little voice

        "He just asked if you wanted some popcorn." Trinity lowered herself all the way back down into her seat and glared at Two with a Glare of Death. She then stated royally

        "Please tell Neo that I would love some popcorn." As the Twins almost broke down, Niobe passed the message on with another Glare of Death. Neo got up and struggled past Zee, Link, Morpheus and Niobe and the Twins refrained from tripping him as he went past. He was gone for almost five minutes, but he did eventually return with two large buttery popcorns. He gave one to Trinity with a smile and struggled back to his seat. The movie continued, and the Twins almost thought that they had had their chance, but Niobe leaned over and in curt tones gave One the message that Neo wanted to know if Trinity wanted anything to drink, and he better not screw it up. One nodded gravely and shared the message telepathically. Two grinned as he turned away and leaned over to Trinity and said

        "Neo has a bottle of Tesso Blanc de Noir over there and wants to know if you'd like to join him." Two smiled convincingly. He was very good at that smile. Trinity blushed furiously again. Two rested his elbow on the armrest and rested his chin in his hand. His smile widened. Trinity looked away and mumbled something incomprehensible around her popcorn. Niobe leaned around One and whispered furiously

        "What did you tell her!?" her expression was very angry. Two looked at Niobe innocently and One answered

        "We only told her that Neo asked if she wanted something to drink!" _Well, technically it's true!_ Two exclaimed mentally. Trinity's redness became anger.

        "Yes I would," she said rather defiantly. As the Twins reigned in their laughter, she stated "I would like a large diet Pepsi." She leaned over and said it to Niobe. Niobe passed it on and the Twins ignored Trinity's glares and watched the movie. Neo once again struggled by and returned with two large drinks and passed one to Trinity. She gave him a large, beaming smile, and he returned it with a rather confused look that said he was unaware of the goings on at this end of the row. The Twins shared a private snicker. Most of the rest of the movie passed uneventfully, except that the Twins were so bored they nearly fell asleep twice and actually found it amusing to watch Morpheus snore. But twenty minutes before the ordeal was to end, Niobe passed a one-karat diamond ring to One. She said quietly.

        "It's for Trinity. Neo is asking her to marry him; because this is the movie he took her to for their first date. Don't screw up." She glared. One handed the ring to his brother and asked _Should we?_ Two thought. _Not like we mean it. And it would probably horrify her._ They agreed. Two turned to Trinity, and waited until she saw the ring. Her eyes widened and Two raised an eyebrow. Trinity smiled knowingly.

        "It's probably from Neo, and he's a nice guy, but I just can't see myself with him forever. I was only with him because he's the One. But you two…" she trailed off suggestively and stretched her long, leather-clad legs across the aisle. By now she had One's attention too. Both Twins wore horrified looks at what she was suggesting. Two dropped the ring to the movie theater floor. Then he moved as far away from her as possible in the worn velour seat.

        "And really, that suggestion you made with the strawberries and the whipped cream sounded fun." She purred. The Twins shuddered, truly horrified. Trinity reached forward to run a finger down Two's chest, and that was when the Twins ran. Both leapt from their seats, Two vaulting right over Trinity. They fled the theater and got back to Le Chateau as quickly as possible. Trinity sighed. Damn. Lost them again. Everyone else looked quizzically at her.

        "What was that about?" asked Neo as they were leaving.

        "No idea. They just up and left." Trinity brushed it off with a wave of her hand. Well, she hadn’t managed to get the Twins (this time), but she might at least be able to entice Neo to stop and pick up some strawberries and whipped cream on the way home…

 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

**Jacuzzi Terror**

 

            The Twins had been eternally thankful to whatever programmer (probably that KFC guy…long story) watched over the Matrix that Trinity had not tried to contact them and that the Merovingian had not learned of their little game with the ring at the theater. If he had, they would never have heard the end of it from him. So, four days later, during the daily torture known as 'supper with the Merovingian', they were only slightly suspicious when Gerard, the maitre d', delivered them a private letter. Two, who sat on the right, took it with a nod and waited until the aid departed. Then the Twins leaned together as Two tore open the envelope. Both Twins could feel the program guarding the envelope sizzle away as Two handled the mail. Someone really meant it as a 'private letter'. Two removed the short letter and unfolded it and the Twins read in unison.

        **Dear Twins**, it read, **I have planned a pool party! Normally I wouldn't even TELL you, but it has been insisted by certain parties that you are invited *cough, Niobe, cough*. So, come to 110 Appex St. Friday night at 8:30. Doritos, beach balls, lobster, won't it be fun?**

**- Neo**

             The Twins looked at the note, dumbfounded. Pool party? With Neo and that group of apes? They were incredulous that he'd even ask. But One carefully tucked the note into the inside pocket of his sleek silver-white coat and made it look for all the world like they'd just received another independent contract. They finished supper and went to their suit on the 102nd floor. Once the door was shut, One burst out

        "The imbecile, does he actually think we'd come?" Two chuckled, and said

        "Well, he is Neo, dear brother. But maybe this time we could mess around with Niobe a bit. She's already incensed with us after the whole movie incident." Two smirked a bit at the memory. So did One.

        "Well, when you put it that way, it seems a lot more appealing. I guess we never have to go anywhere near the water." The ultra- fastidious Twins did not like getting wet - it just ruined their dreads.

        "No, of course not. Let's see how much more interesting we can make his little pool party." At that they both grinned identical evil grins.

 

        That Friday evening, the Twins told the Merovingian they were going out to do a contract and left the parking garage in their cool black Escalade. It took only about ten minutes to get to Appex Street, and One, who always drove since Two had no sense of direction and got them lost more often than not, parked. The Twins left the truck and found 110, a large, glass-roofed, greenhouse-like building. They entered to find a dark and empty reception area, but at that time of night, that was to be expected. The Twins went past the empty white desk and light rose walls into a humid pool area. But besides just a large pool, there was a large five- or six-person Jacuzzi in sight, along with a small sauna. The lights were dim and no one was in sight.

        "Something is very wrong here." Said Two, starting to back out of the pool house, but he was stopped by a silky voice from behind him saying

        "Oh, no. I don't think anything is wrong. In fact, you're here right on time." The Twins spun around, their trench coats flying, to see Trinity standing behind them in nothing but a small black bikini. Trinity put her hands on her slender hips and smiled an enticing smile.

        "Oh, shit." Said Two. One looked over his shoulder, and then turned slowly and fully. He put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

        "Things have just gotten a whole lot worse." He said quietly. Two turned to look and realized that One was terribly, horribly right. Standing between them and the pool was the most terrifying sight either of them had ever seen. It was Persephone. Persephone in a small black bikini and stiletto heels.

        "Hello, boys." She purred in her French accent.

        "Oh God," whispered Two, "please get us out of here." Both Twins then made a run for the door, but the women in leather bikinis and heels pounced on them before they made it to the exit. The Twins were superior fighters, but they were panicked, so panicked that they couldn't ghost to escape. They fought, but eventually Trinity and Persephone subdued and bound them. Once they were securely tied and sitting with their backs against the tiled steps up to the Jacuzzi, Persephone tossed her mane of hair as Trinity disappeared from sight.

        "Now, you are ours for the night and we are going to have fun." She said with a sadistic smile. Both Twins shuddered and awaited their fate. They had tried to ghost away once their minds had cleared, but something blocked them. Persephone had claimed that she had and anti- ghosting device. Just then Trinity returned with two very small garments in silver-white. It took them a moment, but the Twins realized with horror that they were (dunh, dunh, dunh)…Speedo's!

        "Nooooooooooo! Please, anything but those! -" They screamed, but Persephone just grinned a sadistic grin and reached for Two's trench coat as Trinity reached for One's.

 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

**Vampires and Dance Clubs**

 

Two finally ghosted as he saw the fearful specter of a leather-clad Persephone getting closer and closer. The bonds snaked to the ground as Two's ghostly green form swept under Persephone's outstretched hands. She turned to look, still crouching, and pouted. One calmed now that Two had escaped and ghosted before Trinity could get much further in removing his ultra-cool white trench coat.

        Two became solid again about a meter from the moonlit water of the uncovered pool. Persephone got up slooowly and started walking toward him, one hand on her swaying hip. Two fought a shudder and stepped backward; removing one of his many concealed razor blades as he did so - only to slip in a puddle of water and careen into the pool. This distracted One, who had just re-solidified, allowing Trinity to pounce on him. One let out a strangled "Arrrrgh!!" as Trinity's arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him to the ground, dreads flying. Two, on the other hand, flailed in the pool, losing both his razor and sunglasses and getting very, very wet. He bumped into a side and hauled himself out. The door! It was mere feet away!

        Two made for the door, sodden and panicked as he was. And stopped short. Someone, something had a hold of his trench coat. Since he was soaking wet, the sharp jerk nearly sent him to the floor, but in his mad flailing he tried desperately to get out of the wet, clingy, and now ruined fabric. That was when Persephone grabbed him around the torso with amazing strength and dispensed of his trench coat for him. He took one terrified look at her with his now exposed ivory eyes, one look at the feral smile playing across her full red lips, and promptly lost consciousness.

 

        Two woke slowly. As the glimmerings of awareness returned, there was huge **thump!** and Two became aware of the sensation of motion. Then the recent events began to slither their way back down into his cortex. And he groaned mentally. He grasped the foggy link to One and got a reply that echoed all of his aches and pains. Two nudged at the code of the car gently to see if they could ghost. He was bounced directly back to the physical.

        _Damn Persephone and her programming skills,_ he thought testily.

        _I concur._ As they both woke up, One became aware that he was cold. Why would he be cold in his suit? Unless he wasn't in... He got the same freaked out sense from Two and both of them slowly switched on more physical sensations. And Two swore. Inventively. He was in his now dry boots, which were almost knee-high and satin lined, and, he dreaded even to think it - the Speedo. He shuddered mentally, echoed by One, and opened himself to impressions of where they were. As he became aware of the tooled leather beneath him, the slight scent of lilac in the air, he knew they must be in Persephone's personal limousine. And he couldn't hear the girls, so the partition was closed. Just then, the limo braked. The Twins both sat up, and the scent of lilac seemed to thicken into a miasma. They looked at each other. What did the Merovingian's little pet demon have in mind for them now?

 

        The Twins had to wait only moments until the car's back doors opened. Trinity and Persephone stood on either side of the car, still in leather, unfortunately, but fully clothed. Persephone stood there in all her high-collared-low-backed-skintight glory.

        "Boys," she said in her chocolaty rich voice, "I expect you are ready to cooperate." As she said this, Trinity smiled and Persephone swayed on her three-inch black heels.

        "So," she began again, but One and Two had seen all they need to see. They were in front of one of those large, marble-faced buildings with all the gold gilt and numerous little cherub statuettes that seemed to populate the downtown City. Old, slightly dilapidated and very ominous they were the perfect places for conducting illegal activities. The Twins owned several such buildings themselves. All of the lights were on within, creating a flickering gold aura about the building, which sat on a very dark and despairing street, as they usually did. Litter blew across the street. The sidewalk was uneven and cracked everywhere but directly in front of the monolith, and no streetlights were illuminated. From somewhere nearby deep and pounding bass from rap or rock music could be heard echoing in the silent boulevard.

        "...you will just come with us, will you not?" Persephone was finishing. The two turned their ivory stares on her as one.

        "Of course." They spoke through One, who was closest to Persephone and the left door of the car. They were parked across the street from the hulking structure. Persephone chirped something and moved slightly away from the door, as did Trinity, who was motioning for Two to get out. But at the instant the women moved the twins dived through the doors by them onto the street and the cracked sidewalk. As he landed, One felt his wrist pull and twist in a direction wrists were never meant to go, and Two lost a good bit of skin off his right shoulder and back to the gravel and broken glass on the sidewalk. As they leapt up, both tried to ghost - and couldn't. Persephone had altered their programming. But this fact was taken in and processed in microseconds, they were analyzing information at speeds no other human or program could reproduce - and as the two of them hit the ground, they were running. As the muscles of those shaped and sculpted bodies worked, they were away from Trinity, Persephone and the monolith building in less than a minute.

 

        The pair of them had turned the first corner away from the car, and One realized that they were getting closer to the deep, bone-vibrating music, if one could call it that. One and Two kept up the pace; neither tired like a human. As they ran, they turned corners and went down streets in a random pattern, hoping to lose the girls, dreadlocks flying behind them. After eight or nine minutes of the music getting increasingly loud, the Twins turned a corner and stopped dead in their tracks. In front of them stood a building only about half the size of the one they had left behind, but his structure was dark. Dark not only because of the night, but because shadows seemed to cling to it, caught on corners and swirling in stairwells and recesses. No lights shone from this building. They distinguished from the deep murk and drifting gloom what seemed to be a group of people near the front of the club, which is what Two decide to call it, with music blasting from it like that. The group was breaking off and coming toward them.

        "Perhaps we should have turned the other way." Two whispered, inching closer to One. He felt vulnerable without a single weapon and unable to ghost.

        "I concur." One whispered back, just as disconcerted as Two was. The Twins were about 10 feet from the building and the group was closing quickly. They didn't seem to really coalesce until they were right in front of the two albinos. It was a group of five women, all dressed exotically. One wore the tattered remains of a miniskirt and a bra made of chain mail. She had bright pink hair. There was leather, chains, studs, cuffs, everything. After a few moments of mutual observation, one woman came forward. She wore tight leather shorts not quite long enough to cover all, fishnets, knee-high black leather stilettos and a leather boustier with and assortment of silver chains and studs. She had short spiky black hair and very dilated pupils. She sized up One and Two pretty obviously.

        "You boys look ready for some fun." She said, sinking into one hip and tilting her head in an all too suggestive manner. She stepped forward, reached up and placed her hand on the back of Two's neck and slid it down his shoulder. Two simply waited and watched. She stopped, and pulled her hand away. It was unusually pale and had Two's blood on it.

        "You're hurt," she mock-pouted a bit and then smiled openly. One and Two started to see the elongated and sharpened canines that identified a vampire in the Matrix. Her little group followed suit. All of them, vampires.

        "We can help with that." She said, her voice and body taking on the feral tone and edge of her kind. One and Two started to back away, they'd had enough bad experiences to know not to tangle with vampires, but the group came forward to surround them. Two was preparing to take another step backwards when realization hit him. He stopped, pointed at the lead vampire and exclaimed, with a distinct undertone of relief,

            “Atticus!”

 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

**Back to Le Chateau**

 

The rogue programs known as vampires closed ranks around the Twins. The spiky-haired Atticus took another long look at them.

            “Well, that took you long enough,” she said sarcastically. “ And what in the name of the Architect happened to you two?” The Twins sighed.

            “It’s a long story.” Said Two with an only slightly evil smile. “Well, I look forward to hearing it…at length.” Replied Atticus, sliding another finger down Two’s silky-smooth chest. Just then the distinctive click-click sound of stiletto’s started to echo down the alley. A voice that seemed slightly ethereal was calling “oh boys, where are you? We were only just getting started.” Atticus frowned. “Persephone.”

            “Persephone.” Agreed One.

            “Well then, you’d best come with me." Atticus gestured with one pale hand for them to follow her. She began to move toward the night-shrouded building in perhaps the most provocative way possible, and her cadre ushered the Twins after her. As they got closer wisps of darkness seemed to reach out to surround them until they were moving in the purest, swirling blackness. Suddenly a door seemed to open out the mist itself and the head-pounding music increased about 100 decibels. Atticus was standing by the door, waiting for them to go in.

 

 

            Through the door was a nightclub. It was strangely reminiscent of the Merovingian’s club, but populated with pale, ethereal figures moving through the pulsing lights and throbbing music. One of those pale figures detached itself from the group and came over.

            “Atticus,” he said, “what have you brought us? New toys?”

            “Sorry luv, not for you.” She replied, shooting the Twins a feral smile. Vampire boy pouted but went back into the crowd. Atticus started making her way across the floor, her little group tagging behind her. Two was feeling distinctly underdressed, while One was wishing death and torture on whoever had perpetrated the evil of the Speedo on the world. On the other side of the floor Atticus pulled a key out her boustier and opened a steel door. She made a come hither gesture, meaning for the Twins to precede her into the room. One other vampire followed the Twins and Atticus into the room, the girl with pink hair in the chain mail bra. The Twins looked around the room. A custom computer consol setup took up all of one wall. There were five or six screens, several keyboards and touch pads and all sorts of other electronic toys. All, of course, set up to hack and reprogram the Matrix code. Atticus sat down and booted up her system and code started streaming down the screens. Atticus read the code for a few minutes, then pronounced

            “Persephone fucked with your code.” One rolled his eyes and Two growled a little.

            “Thank you for that piece of vast insight and wisdom, O Great Seer. Now what are you going to do about it?” One’s words were practically dripping in sarcasm. Atticus glared.

            “Just hold your Speedo, baby. Let me work my magic.” Two snickered, along with pink-hair in the corner. She smiled and batted her eyes at him. While One sulked, it became obvious that Two and pink-hair were carrying on a private conversation, until there was an audible **snick** and things _changed_.

            “Done and done.” Said Atticus as the Twins smiled evilly from behind identical pairs of shades. One checked the fit of his newly restored ultra-sexy white trench coat while Two snapped open one of his razor-sharp switchblades. Atticus swayed over to One.

            “Let’s go.” She said, a world of implication in those two little words. The Twins smirked. _No argument there,_ they agreed. The little quartet left the back room and the crowd engulfed them.

 

            The Twins and the rogues moved through the pulsing, gyrating crowd like sharks through a school of fish. They radiated power and ferocity…right up until they heard that horrible accented voice. Persephone. And she’d brought her friend. The Twins stopped dead. Persephone and Trinity emerged from the crowd, still clad in leather outfits so tight they might very well have had to have been sewn into them. The Twins stared. _Oh shit_ was the only thing that came to mind. Trinity purred and stepped forward and took hold of Two’s lapels.

            “Aw, no more Speedo? But you looked so-” Thankfully for all involved, that sentence was never finished, due to the untimely (or perhaps timely, depending on your point of view) arrival of Neo and Morpheus. As they stopped to see what everyone was looking at Neo realized that it was Trinity inside all those skimpy bits of leather, he too stopped dead in his tracks.

            “Trinity?!!” he exclaimed. Trinity froze. At this point both Morpheus and Persephone began studiously staring at the ceiling. Trinity plastered a big smile on her face and turned around.

            “Neo, darling, what are you doing here?”

            “I think I could ask you the same thing, _darling_.” The Twins, suppressing fits of laughter, decided that now was the time to get their revenge.

            “Why yes, what are you doing out without dear Neo, _darling?_” said One slyly. Trinity shot a look back at the Twins. At this point, even Persephone was stifling a giggle.

            “You were here with her?!” cried Neo, pointing at Persephone. “With them?!!” he gestured to the Twins.

            “Neo, honey, I didn’t mean-”

            “We are leaving RIGHT NOW!” Trinity was still spluttering as Neo dragged her from the club. Morpheus sidled up to Persephone.

            “So.” Morpheus put on his ‘cool guy’ hat. She looked him over.

            “So indeed.” The Twins shared a smirk. One snapped his switchblade and they walked out of the shadows of the vampire club.

 

            The phone wouldn’t stop ringing. Eventually a spiky pink head appeared from beneath the voluminous duvet on the big four-poster bed. After nudging the body next to her a few times, Two sat up.

            “Your phone’s ringing.” She said.

            “Mmmm, let it.” Said Two. One’s head peeked up on the other side of the bed, as Atticus emerged between them.

            “It might be the Merovingian.” Said One.

            “Maybe you should answer it,” said Atticus, “we can always continue this later.” She caressed One as Two turned to pink-hair (who does, incidentally, have a name. Yeah, wouldn’t you like to know). Then the answering machine kicked in and the haughty French accent of the Merovingian filled the Twins’ penthouse.

            “Where have you two been? I’ve an assignment for you. Persephone’s got some overdue DVD’s…”


End file.
